YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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