Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my phone needs a breathalizer
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
