sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
