I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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