i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
smell my finger.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
