I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
me + whiskey = a bad person
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
