so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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