They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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