even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
