I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
