I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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