please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
