I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
handjob tips. give me some.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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