he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
