thus making me awesome and them whores
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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