I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
