i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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