You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
