i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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