So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
