My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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