Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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