I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
