Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
