Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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