chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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