Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
