Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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