you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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