i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
