Sry I called you an 8
I think my vagina is haunted
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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