Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
