i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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