Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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