this boner is exhausting
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
