i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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