I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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