Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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