My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
