I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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