Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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