I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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