I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
