My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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