this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.