So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.