OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.