He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize