Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
