if only i could text you this smell
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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