Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
