I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
