yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
