I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just gargled with NyQuil
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
