M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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