Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
