Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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